Glenn Danzig

Glenn Danzig's long-awaited directorial film debut, "Verotika", is finally being unleashed via Video On Demand and an upcoming three-disc set consisting of the film on both Blu-ray and DVD, and the movie's soundtrack on CD. The horror anthology is a collection of three stories adapted from his self-published comic book series of the same title, bonded by interstitial segments featuring a vixen narrator named Morella, played by adult film actress Kayden Kross. For those of you that did not have the opportunity to attend the few public screenings that were held last summer, here is everything that you need to know about the movie.

Yes, "Verotika" is as bad, inept and insane as the early word out of last year's Cinepocalypse festival promised. There are many scenes and dialogue passages where you can tell that Danzig is being super serious with his motives, but the result for most viewers will likely be gut-busting laughter beginning with the opening moments of "The Albino Spider of Dajette" and never letting up through the very end of the movie. Bad movie aficionados that hold films such as "The Room" and "Birdemic" as the gold standard for movies that are so bad that they are incredible will find plenty of joy in moments here that come close to hitting that bar.

There are dozens of strange artistic — and acting — choices throughout "Verotika". There is zero doubt that Danzig had a defined vision in his head for what he wanted to accomplish with his debut feature, but nearly every choice made to execute that vision will simultaneously confuse and entertain most viewers. That sense of confusion is enhanced by a large number of camera shots that linger for an eternity, and an equal number of camera shots that come off like they were shot and framed by someone who has never seen a movie.

There is one actor who knows exactly what movie he is in, and if Danzig ever decides to build a spin-off from the "Change of Face" segment around Sean Kanan's cranky detective, Sgt. Anders, his voracious overacting and scene chewing would be on par with the cheesiest straight-to-video action movies of the late '80s and early '90s.

If you are a horror fan that craves blood and guts, there is some admittedly fun blood splatter during the final act. The story titled "Drukija Contessa of Blood" has characters drowning in viscous red stuff amid the most befuddling editing choice of the entire movie. There are also about a half dozen other attempts at blood and gore that are pitiful and laughable.

If you like your movies to have satisfying payoffs, there are none to be found here. If you are willing to settle for unsatisfying payoffs, those are scarce as well. All three stories essentially have a bunch of stuff happen, and then abruptly end.

Now given the above information that we have shared about "Verotika", you may wonder why we have granted a 10/10 score here. If we're grading on sheer narrative and technical competency, then yes, that score would require a negative rating. But with all the artistic choices being as insane as they are, and all performances being as comically off the mark as they are, this will be one of the most purely entertaining movie-viewing choices you could make in 2020. "Verotika" is a viewing-party spectacle worthy of indulging in a night of laughter and shock with your friends.

And at the end of the day, we'll take Danzig's earnest effort that he very obviously poured his heart and soul into over coldly calculated schlock like "Sharknado", which is executed with a wink-and-a-nod, and we'll also take it over Rob Zombie's middling attempts to channel his favorite movies from the glory days of grindhouse flicks.

We tried to keep this spoiler-free, but we can't resist sharing this one. So, SPOILER ALERT....

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Yes, there is a scene in Glenn Danzig's movie where a woman strips to a DANZIG song.